“How to Make a Tuna Sandwich” with Barack Obama: Recipe of the Day
Just in time for lunch –
Mix:
Two cans fancy tuna
Half a bottle of Grey Poupon
Mayo
Chopped Gherkins
Gherkin juice to taste
Yield: The 60 Minutes crew gets to watch the delightful future First Family eat lunch (there wasn’t enough to go around).
Add:
A whole lotta arugula
Yield: Hope, Change, and identification with the lower classes average American. Dude, you don’t think they’ve got bologna in that refrigerator, do you?
Since we’re feeling culinary inspiration today, let’s open the comments for the Official Obama’s Wood-Paneled Refrigerator Contents Contest. My top picks are:
- Refrigerator: three kinds of imported cheese, arugula, cheese sticks, juice boxes, couscous, imported German beer (a guilty pleasure), an opened can of caviar, and enough empty space you could leave one shelf empty. Freezer: Ben & Jerry’s (a campaign contribution), fat-free cheesecake, homemade fruit popsicles (from Martha), and gourmet Chinese stir-fry.
Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Teach a registered voter to make a tuna sandwich, feed yourself for a lifetime.
Bonus product placement alert: Where is StarKist? Where’s Kraft? Hello – you could be the “Official Tuna of Barack Obama.” Will they only notice if Michelle O. wears it or are they more cautious and realistic about their product placement? (As PotUS, will Obama shut down the tuna industry or the horrific anti-green pickle mills?)
Bonus segment from the same 60 Minutes program:
Don’t you love the look on his face when she says black people are in danger every time they get gas?
h/t Michelle Malkin
I’ve got your bologna right here, pal. As for Michelle Malkin, I think she needs a gherkin in her own tuna sandwich. Could do wonders for her personality.
Comment by Nordstrom — July 8, 2008 @ 12:46 pm
Nordstrom, on July 8th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
It’s so touching that you took the trouble to both read and comment on my post. Deeply as I am honored by your presence at this post, I hope you will also visit our Comments Policy page…or accept our best wishes in finding another party that suits you better.
Comment by Numenorean — July 8, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Being that we know he’s very health conscious (or so he claims), here’s my vote as to what’s in his refrigerator:
12 bottles Evian
Arugula
A dozen free-range brown chicken eggs (for his girls only!)
Tub of Promise Healthy Heart ‘butter’
a round of Dunsyre Blue Cheese
a wedge of Tobermory Cheddar
a pound of Havarti with dill
a “still on the vine” vine of organic tomatoes
half-pound of Iranian sturgeon caviar
tonight’s dinner, flown in first-class from Martha Stewart–who most likely made it with her own two hands
and a quart each of blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries
In his freezer, I agree, he’ll definitely have some Ben & Jerry’s that they donated to him. Heck, it’s probably a flavor they made exclusively for him. Probably called it “Ba-Rock Candy Obamanilla” and is made of hand-cranked vanilla, cinnamon, and sprinkles of Sugar-In-The-Raw.
Along with that, he’ll have:
pudding (or fruit) pops (for his girls)
free-range chicken breasts
two pounds of turkey sausage
12-pack of Veggieburger patties
and, way in the back bottom corner, in the furthest recesses where light rarely sees, a tiny, locked chest that contains his heart, soul, and testicles.
Comment by jedijson — July 8, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
Ba-Rock Candy Obamanilla…no thanks. I’ll have the Mc-Candy-Cain instead.
Comment by c-biz — July 8, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
[...] BEFORE Obama, I didn’t know how to make a tuna sandwich. [...]
Pingback by Kick the Anthill » How to Get Rear-Ended in My Neighborhood — October 10, 2008 @ 11:57 am
[...] This man of hardship has definitely come up in the world. Instead of making his own tuna sandwiches with Gherkins, he’s got someone else shaking martinis and making wagyu steak for him. It’s the Hope [...]
Pingback by Fix another martini for the guy with his finger on the button, please — February 4, 2009 @ 9:11 am
[...] Just reminiscing a little…and looking forward to le B.O. Recession Menu. Let’s help the First Family update the recipe for 2010: [...]
Pingback by Kick the Anthill » “Let them eat tuna!” — March 5, 2009 @ 4:13 pm