It’s beginning to look a lot like Oba-mas
I can see Oba-mas Day now… Families basking in the warmth of the glowing hearth, children spilling open their stockings with delight to discover their very own lapel pins, wrapping paper flying as mom squeals over the new plates papa bought her, ornaments of the new messiah replacing the old looking down upon the scene from the tree, Christmas dinner taken from someone else spread upon their dining table… Somebody get me a garbage can quick — I think I’m gonna be sick.
Yesterday I was at CVS getting restocked on cold medicine when I was viciously attacked by the magazine aisle. Ok, maybe an inanimate object cannot exactly attack me, but if you’ve strolled down a magazine aisle lately, you know exactly what I mean. Fortunately I was spared the sight of any Obama decorations — Lord forgive me, but I don’t think I could have been held responsible for my actions at the time if I had. I pity the fool who in his Obamabliss decides one of these would be a good gift for me.
For those of you who have warped minds like me, there are two things to consider before buying these things for Dirty Santa/white elephant/prank gifts:
1) We’ve already given enough of our money to Congress this fall. No need to give more to these punks. Better to regift them or pick ‘em up at garage sales for next Christmas.
2) Inevitably some groupie at your party is going to take you seriously and believe you’re a fellow fan. After you blanche and go three shades of red comes the realization that you’re now going to be forcibly included in the donkey discussion around the water cooler. Then again, maybe it’s part of your super-spy plan to infiltrate. In which case, may the Force be with you.
Having said all that, it’s also important to point out that I don’t mean all Obama gifts are bad or wrong. Take this gift for example. Or better yet, you can make your own decorations: candles, centerpieces, stockings, mittens, bath rugs, whatever. Consider the comments section now open for appropriate Obama gift and decoration suggestions. On my own personal wishlist is an Obama-proof wallet — where you can Hope to Keep Your Change. If you find one out there, be sure you let me know.
I think jedijson was much closer to the truth than he realized. Only it won’t be just one holiday — it will be about them all. Welcome to the Age of Obama.
