Kick the Anthill

January – The Obamas move into the White House.  Russia reclaims the remainder of Georgia.  Rev. Wright called in to dine at and anoint the White House.

February – Iran achieves nuclear weapon.  Freedom of Choice Act signed into law.  Obama coin design sent to U.S. Mint.

March – Troops withdrawn from Iraq.  Troops in Afghanistan fall.  Bush blamed.  Russia attacks Czechoslovakia.  Putin flies to Camp David to meet with Obama.

April – Obama girls Easter fashions on the cover of Time Magazine.  Czechoslovakia reclaimed for Russia.  Russia and Iran reduce oil production to OPEC levels.

May – Biden dismissed.  Usefulness served, VP no longer needed.  First draft of the new Bill of Rights arrives.

June – Obama commemorative stamps for sale at post office as new coinage arrives at banks.  Rebels in Venezuela overthrow Chavez.  Chavez receives amnesty in U.S., builds complex in northern New Mexico.

July – New healthcare plan cards arrive by mail.  Five major corporations providing thousands of jobs declare bankruptcy.

August – August 4 proclaimed national holiday.  Updated textbooks arrive at schools.

September – Israel attacked by Iran during Feast of Tabernacles.

October – Economy in the midwest finally collapses with the rest.

November – Conservative bloggers turn their blogs black on the anniversary of Black Tuesday.  The Obama Truth Squad uses that day to locate and round up those bloggers.  The blogs never resume.

December – Kwanzaa replaces Christmas at White House.

UPDATE: Obviously Iran is part of OPEC and would shift it’s oil production accordingly.  No clue what I was thinking — grief and despair must have clouded my ability to process the common knowledge that “civilized allies” do business with blatant terrorists.  Consider the statement revised to: “Russia and post-Soviet states reduce oil production to OPEC levels.”  Drill, baby, drill!