Kick the Anthill

Pardon me, but I need a moment to get some things off my chest today.

#1 - Being the day before a presidential election, there will not be a Monday Morning Hyacinth post.  Just no time for it when I’m doing my level best to save the world from a fate worse than death.

#2 - To the next person who sniggers at me because I support Sarah Palin: I will not be held responsible for my actions.  I am not a fan of people who regurgitate all they see and hear on NBC or from Team Obama.  Facts, truth, reason and logic are treasures, and your ignorance is not.

#3 - In answer to the question, what do you think will happen tomorrow?  I do not know.  But I bet I could make a fortune selling crystal balls on eBay today.  I can just see it now — “Predict the future you want with your own crystal ball.  Just $10.95 + shipping and handling.”  But seriously, much smarter people than I have given their own two cents, and quite frankly they’re much more entertaining.  And depressing.  What has amazed me is not only are OH and PA up for grabs, but it also seems that VA and MN are.  I refuse to put CO or FL in the electoral bank for B.O. just yet, either.  And I’m also having a very hard time forgiving CA for having 55 electoral votes.  So hard to believe none of the candidates have bothered coming to OK to beg for our 7.

But I can predict this much:  It’s uphill both ways.  Just that one hill is a whole lot bigger than the other.  With McCain in the Oval Office, we conservatives will spend the next four years fighting with McCain to keep him from serving us crap and fighting with the left because they blame us for the crap.  With Obama, we will spend the next four years being told how glorious his crap is, that it smells like roses, and may we have another helping, please?  Either way, there just ain’t enough air freshener to go around these days.  Either way, I’m buying a gas mask.

#4 - In answer to the question, will there be civil war if B.O. wins?  If you are referring to guns, tanks, artillery and body armor, no.  If you are referring to ideas, ideals, political weasels and mind control, baby, we’ve already been in civil war for decades.  And in answer to that other related but stupid question, B.O.’s life will be in less danger because he is black than W.’s life has been in danger because he didn’t sit on his rear after 9/11 and took us to war.

#5 - In answer to the question, what will you do if B.O. wins?  1) Buy a gun.  2) Buy stock in air fresheners, gas masks, and anti-depressants.  3) Learn wilderness survival encrypted blogging skills.  4) Teach children far and wide how to read and write and think for themselves.  And not to trust people who promise them easy prosperity or that world peace is possible.  This is the grown-up version of not talking to or taking candy from strangers.  5) Remind myself every day that even though the world falls down all around me, God will not stop being faithful to all of His promises.

I’m in full-blown election mode, which means that I am only living moment to moment.  About 7:00 tomorrow night, I’ll start worrying about how I will worry the next day.  Currently my stomach is upset, and my bones hurt.  Could be election jitters, could be the flu.  But only time will tell which direction the American public chose to go.  I am not responsible for your vote.  Therefore, I will be lighting every candle I can get my hands on, cracking open a bottle of wine, wishing that I had cable to follow Fox, watching The Office Season 4, throwing a light-hearted impromptu birthday party for my dog, taking lots of Vitamin C, and praying my prayers.  Nothin’ I can do about the outcome.  But c-biz will be glad to loan me a bulldozer to dig out a fallout shelter in my backyard should I wake up on Wednesday to the Worst.