A Little Catching Up
Since I missed last week I hope you will indulge me. There are things that must be said.
DNC:
Seriously?? Another pantsuit, Hillary? Walking into your closet would probably scare me more than a walk down a dark alley. Pants do not make you look more macho. We women will never be part of the boys club no matter what we wear. Highlighting the differences between you and the boys could have been a plus for you. (Calculated tears don’t count.) A woman who does not act like a woman is not trusted by women. Pants also do not make a President. Neither does a cardigan, or a kilt, or a bonnet. Pants will never make up for brains and ability. Skirts do not equal weakness. But it doesn’t have to be a skirt — anything other than the cookie-cutter pantsuit in psychological colors will do. Surprise us.
I don’t think I watched B.O. for the full length of a sentence. I hate being talked to like that — the condescending speaking voice that so many speechmakers use sends me off the deep end. If I want to be lectured, I’ll call a relative. I’ll just read the transcript later…or read C-Biz’s cliff notes version. Thank God for remote controls.
McCain/Palin:
Wicked genius is the only way I know how to describe this McCain camp decision. I confess I did actually fall out of my own chair when I heard the news last week. John McCain has just bought the Presidency of the United States of America. Quick, somebody, go borrow Obama’s chair for him. It’s in the bag because:
1 - The world is slowly falling out of love with B.O. (it is inevitable of course, he can’t keep puppies alive forever). The mod Dems who have become less enchanted will cross over. The Hildebeast Dems are devastated that they won’t get a woman President — if woman is what they wanted, woman is what you will give them. It’s going to hurt a little to have to vote for the “anything but diverse” Republican candidate, won’t it? But don’t feel too bad — we’re all going to hurt a little together when we pull the lever in November. (And back to the boy’s club analogy, my own opinion is that a female VP pick will never be a real threat to his ego like a rising male political star.)
2 - He just got the conservative blogosphere off his back…at least until his next trip across the aisle. Borders do tend to be a tricky thing for him, so I would like to use this time to offer him a helpful tip: Just think of the aisle as the demarcation line, or the DMZ, or a moat filled with alligators and pirhanas. Our differences of opinion come from deeply held life values, not second grade school yard immaturity.
3 - Aaahhhh…can you smell that? It’s the fragrance of everlasting pits of beautiful black gold in the time of galactic economic crisis. Drill, baby, drill. Seward’s Folly indeed.
4 - Timing. On the blessed eve of B.O.’s coronation, McCain takes the Oval Office right out from underneath him. Now that’s just sheer fun.
Now why didn’t I think to add her to my list?
Whether it was accidental or deliberate, this was a brilliant decision on McCain’s part. I will always believe that he did not earn this Presidency from his constituents, but this decision did show considerable presence of mind (and that the Almighty is still looking out for us). Whoever helped him make this choice needs a raise and a spot on his staff to help him navigate the next four years. See, John, conservatism is not so bad after all.
And on a final note: I cannot wait to watch how the media vs. mommies battle unfolds over the next two months. My money is on the mommies…and where the mommies money goes (J&J, P&G, Glad-e and Tar-get…). That reminds me, I need to put popcorn on my shopping list.
