Kick the Anthill

I’ve got several days worth of catching up to do, so let’s get to it.

Let’s start with the items in the Petty Larceny Category:

Jonathan Horton was robbed.  Maybe the scoring was fair, but this blogger still says he was robbed.  With this injustice in mind, we now award Jonathan Horton the Golden Boot for Rockin’ the High Bar.  It may not be heavy enough to hang around your neck, but gold is definitely your color.

Nastia Liukin was really, really robbed.  Forget the ridiculous scoring system, He Kexin should never have been awarded the same score.  Not the same routine, not the same flawless job.  I vote that next to the definition of perfect gymnastics form in the dictionary/Wikipedia we permanently install a picture of her.  Well done, Nastia.  You held it together far better than I would have.  I don’t want to make the sting any worse by offering you a Golden Boot award, so we will award you the Cool as a Cucumber Award for Keeping Your Temper When the Gold Should Have Been Yours.  You rock.

Our women’s gymnastic team was just plain robbed.  But you knew that already.

Speaking of being robbed…I hope you have already seen this everywhere because I just don’t think I can talk about it.  But I would like to award the Team USA members who had to go to the hospital with a Golden Boot for Surviving the Chinese Olympic Baseball Team.  We hope you will put it to good use.  Rah-rah-ree, kick ‘em in the knee!  Rah-rah-ras, kick ‘em in the other knee!

And in the How Cool Was That? Category:

At the Team USA vs. France men’s fencing team gold medal match on Sunday, it was a blast to listen to the French team scream at us in French.  But it was terribly unfair that NBC did not have a translator on spot to let us know what smack talk they were throwing our way.  But then, maybe that’s one of the benefits of being an Olympic athlete – if you don’t know what they are saying to you, you won’t let it rattle you.  Until you miss them saying “watch out for the edge of the platform” or something.  I was also thrilled to see a fencing team member from Brooklyn.  Awesome.  Congratulations on your silver medal, guys!

I’m no fan of useless commentators or cheesy sports reporters, but Mary Carillo was a hoot to watch trekking through the streets of Beijing on the ultimate quest for the least appetizing foods on the planet.  I suspect that she was given the assignment because none of the boys were brave enough, but I have to confess, if it were a do it or lose your job situation, I think I would have been on the next plane home from Beijing.  She was a really good sport — but I wish they would have warned me not to watch if I had just had dinner.  There are just some things that God did not mean for us to eat.  Those had better not be any of the “trendy new Eastern things” the travelers bring back home with them.  (Man, I do wish I could hear what the French had to say about that cuisine!)

Talk about athletics:  Not only did the horses for Equestrian have to travel across the world, but they also had to arrive early to acclimatize and go through quarantine (keeping the animals and riders well away from mainland Beijing).  How in the world did any of those horses stay focused in that neon rainbow course they had to jump?  Kudos to Team USA on their team gold!  More Olympic equestrian news here.

Congratulations to Oklahoman Sarah Haskins for finishing 11th in the 2008 Olympic Triathlon.  She finished 3rd on the swim, 13th on the bike and 11th on the run.  Seriously.  Wow.

And finally, if you missed the sit down interview with South African swimmer Natalie du Toit, you’ve gotta see it.  What an amazing woman.  Maybe she’s not on Team USA, but in the Olympic Spirit, we would like to award her the Golden Boot for Never Giving Up.  I’ve got chills.

One last random incidental:  I found a fun blog at the Houston Chronicle that is covering the Olympics.  Check it out.

(Disclaimer: Awards from KtA have no cash value and as such cannot be sold on eBay or for charity.  Artwork by Jedijson.)